Reflections of a restless eccentric

Humour is your oxygen, wit your ever present companion Well timed quips that seem so perfect I wonder if they are rehearsed Analogies so truly eccentric and so eccentrically true Bursts of scintillating conversation that feel like an infinite volley of pristine thoughts Ironically, the very same things that are your defining traits are also your armor You clutch at them like an infant its mother's garment-never letting go in desperation Any attempt at genuineness is lost in yet another sarcastic comment, masked behind a witty comeback Why this choice of facade, I wonder? More palatable? More aesthetic? Occasionally through those chinks in puns and allegories, there sprouts forth a tiny shoot of sincerity But at the first sight of acknowledgement or understanding, that sky high wall of defenses goes up again And all that I am left with is an insurmountable barrier of laughter and gaiety. What would you have me do : Scale up the wall and see the truth behind, or pretend...

My silence is not a weapon intended to hurt Nor is it a sign of my condescension or superiority It is merely a part of me, one that refuses to be tamed into socialization Those awkward pauses and deafening bursts of silence that you curse  Are not a testament to your conversational skills, nor mine for that matter When you try harder to draw me into conversation, it only makes me cringe For it feels like you are condemning my silence Pulling away my comforting armor, which only makes me clutch it harder When I am quiet in the midst of cheerful conversation I can feel the accusation in every glance that comes my way In every question that is intended to draw me out, as if I were a snail in its shell When I do not make small talk every time I see you You assume it is out of hatred or disinterest But small talk is a language that shall always be foreign to me And silence is as natural to me as words are to you In a world that thrives on communication...

The God of choices looks down on me His two faces at odds with each other One smiles at me,  The Universe gives you what you ask of it . Another frowns in warning,  Be careful what you wish for.   I wonder now, wherein lies my fault?  Did I not ask for the right thing, Janus?  Or did my wish get lost in articulation-- Wanted something but ended up asking for something else? I looked for the crystalline clarity of a million sunbeams,  Stumbled upon enough amorphous confusion to last a lifetime. I asked for a fort of unassailable convictions A moat with the drawbridge of impossible choices lowered greeted me I wished that I would always be a rolling stone Only to find myself mired neck deep in a marsh of complacency  I went in search of a rainbow called equanimity And was pulled into a thunderstorm of an emotional roller-coaster I asked for a soul as pristine as a lotus And was at once thrown into the murk...

Why is normalcy the costliest commodity in my life? It remains unattainably pristine, serenely smiling at me While I drown in the quagmire that is turbulence Clutching for anything that can serve as a stronghold Only to find myself drawn in deeper, staring at despondence in all its dark glory Normalcy is only five breaths away,  Close your eyes and breathe deeply You shall open your eyes to absolute peace And all your suffering will seem like a bad dream I delude myself with these nectarine lies But lies they are and lies they shall remain Every step is fraught with pain and sorrow Someday I will probably sigh and stop fighting, let the current carry me away But that someday is still not here,  And I breathe like a creature only half alive Wearied as I am, I still struggle Not wanting any part of my misfortunes to be attributed to lack of initiative Anguish follows me like a searing shadow I use courage as a salve, and wear those sc...

They say it's a gift to be able to think To reason,to figure out the scheme of things Yet,there are times when I think it's more of a curse One whose prophecy you cannot escape. For it is an inner demon,a part of you And how can you evade yourself? The wheels in my head rotate and rotate I ponder over every minute decision Every fork in the road: Is this right?Is this wrong? Is it a tangent that will forever distort my trajectory? I list out the pros and cons Hoping the balance will tilt one way Putting me out of my misery. But it never does,for there are unknowns on either side Each of which can take too many values to bear thinking about So the dreaded process continues Like a machine headed to wreck itself. I look around and see oblivious souls People who let the current carry them as it would a wayward leaf I envy them for the silence in their heads No monsters to slay,no questions to answer How peaceful must such an existence be...

I see you one day Just like that, on my doorstep I hear you telling me I just felt like visiting Your arms are laden with sweets and savories Gifts for everyone although there's no occasion Eyes that twinkle with laughter A face that's always serenely radiant Then I wake up and realize This is just another cruel dream You're no more there Gone somewhere far beyond my reach My heart breaks all over again My eyes brim with unshed tears I recall those last months Pain, agony,immeasurable suffering What did you ever do to deserve any of it? I don't even know how to mourn you;I'm still in denial Your name keeps tumbling out of my mouth And a second later I feel the impact Right before I sleep, and sometimes right after I wake up This is what my mind brings up The realization shocks me, I fathom not why Grief and a feeling of emptiness follow through in rapid succession I distract myself from these emotions I don't know how to deal with ...

I shall pack away these memories and take with me to cherish Especially on those days when nothing seems right and I wonder what I'm doing These moments seem hauntingly perfect now I want to live them forever instead of having to remember them I could lament the rose tinted reality that I extrapolate from them But seldom is life that predictable and reality that consistent Truth often masquerades itself as a beautiful lie With time the mask peels off and you see it for what it is I wonder at times if everything is this way The dystopian truth inside the utopian lie Waiting for you to stumble upon So that you realize yet again how naive you were Which is why I question not what I have to do It is what it is and that's all life will ever say I shall take away these few tiny memories with me to cherish Especially on those days when nothing seems right and I wonder what I'm doing

Dedicated to Sri.Happy Birthday! :) The lush green path abruptly forked in two My heart turned cold with dread For I knew deep down That I was headed one way and you another Parting of the ways they say But how do you bid adieu to a part of your life? Wisdom has no measure of punctuality Yet its epiphanies are worth waiting for Years from then I've realized Our paths were parallel and will always be From time to time, I stop and wave at you from the distance And you smile at me just the same Nothing's changed, nothing ever will For we're bound not by circumstances Nor by a transient materialistic whim Not even by blood 'Tis our souls that are intertwined And bonds of the soul can never be severed

Written at lunch on a dreary day Abstract. Imaginary. Don't question me :p Once upon a time I wished for this very moment To bask in its magical glory To feel all that I dreamt of Imagined the ecstatic happiness it would bring me Then I realized that some dreams Are meant to be just dreams Time flew past till the glitter faded away And all that remained were embers of a once bright fire Now, when I've all but convinced myself Life decides to taunt me By dangling my long forgotten wish Right in front of my eyes It shimmers so beautifully If I stretch my hand just a little I can reach out and touch it Yet all I feel is fear--fear that it'll vanish the moment I touch it Maybe all of this is a figment of my imagination It's better if I call this wishful thinking And unsee everything I (think I) saw For a forgotten dream is better than a shattered one It's ironic how life gives you what you want At a point when you no longer know what to ...

My apologies to every poet out there.I'm not doing justice to this.A poem needs polishing--like a gemstone,its beauty emerges only with a great degree of effort.A lot of thought goes into a poem.The number of syllables in every line,the sound of the words,the powerful imagery all contribute to what a poem is.While prose is merely an outburst of thoughts,poetry is perfection that's born of flawless writing and emotion.Poetry is almost always centered around the reader--and therefore it's only a good poem if it evokes extreme emotion in the reader.Poetry is never about restating the obvious--it's about taking something completely ordinary and giving a take on it that makes it so extraordinary that you wonder why you never saw it that way. Since I'm currently incapable of all this and spending five minutes a day writing some trash that's a disgrace to poetry isn't my thing,this shall be my last poem,till I see fit to write another.When I have the time,ener...

I found myself walking Through a forest so dark and deep That even light was petrified to enter I would 've turned back in a moment  But for a will'-o-the-wisp that caught my eye  Blue and mysterious,it seemed to light up my way  Fear gave way to curiosity and something more cheerful  I followed one blue beacon till it led me to the next I know not if they will lead me to a place of no return Or to a land that's untouched by anything living But all life is fraught with uncertainty And so we follow our Will-o'-the-wisps and call them Hope. P.S:A will-o'-the-wisp,unlike what I've portrayed here, is usually taken to be something negative.It has quite a dreary etymology--it's associated with misleading people and luring them into marshes and what not.But what's poetry without imagination?:D I see it as something magical and cheerful and so I endeavor to make my reader look at it the same way!:)

I can't find time to do a proper poem everyday--life,I blame you:P I'm thinking of writing short ones:a quatrain or two,in the worst case maybe even a couplet.:) Peals of thunder echoed Amidst the pitter-patter of raindrops It seemed like a scene from a picturesque dream Till I woke up to the scent of petrichor. Magical are the first showers in summer For the earth hungers passionately for water And the sky grants it like an indulgent parent All creation exults in this miracle we call rain.

Past me floated a bubble Its myriad colors a vision to my eye I watched enchanted as it soared past me So much so that I followed it on a whim It made its merry way through the air Its lightness echoed in my very soul A gale rose out of nowhere Ne'er have I been more terrified of the wind Yet,the bubble flew high Taking with it my spirits A million glorious colors on its surface Each moment a blissful dream My world ceased to exist--for this was my world My gravest folly to forget that it too would shatter One moment a wonder and the next a void Where once there were colors there's now a vacuum It all feels like a dream now Sepia tinted emotions that vaguely haunt me All ephemeral--happiness,sadness and everything in between The perfect metaphor to life--a bubble. P.S:Ah,I give up! I cannot write happy poetry.Sad definitely.Not sad,maybe.Happy,doomed.:P

All my attempts at poetry end up being oh-so-melancholy for reasons I can't fathom! Here's hoping to write something cheerful:) Exhausted and weary I reach home and open the door Not wanting to contemplate Another dreary day My phone and laptop Are but distractions While they keep away my demons I wish for something less ephemeral Perhaps heaven heard me sigh And directed my gaze hither A book--as worn and weary as me Yet my eyes look no farther:my treasure is here! I touch it with reverence For it holds the soul of someone Soothing are the dog-eared corners to my feverish fingers  Enchanting is the perfume that emanates from within I open it to find a note from decades ago One mortal who bequeathed this to another There's something magical about knowing You hold something that's touched many people For a race that struggles to find immortality The answer's not in potions and vials But in our very own minds-...

The grey hours of dawn greet me As solemnly as pall bearers The hand of the clock inches agonizingly forward As if to remind me there's no going back I wish like every naive soul to turn back the clock And relive yesterday in all its beauty If I lived it a million times more happily this moment would still be upon me Such is the inevitability of time What then, is the point of regretting a beautiful past? Or to place upon the unborn future your burgeoning hopes? There is wisdom in neither For this moment is all there is to live The man with eyes set in eternity watches me Not with the agonized look of sorrow Nor with the ever twinkling gaze of hope For he has seen too much to be capable of emotion now He weaves on the fabric of time With hands as steady as rock His every breath a knit, The pattern forever elusive.

I love reading poetry but somehow in all my attempts at writing,I've never written a poem.I just read on a friend's blog that it's national poetry month.What better time to try,eh? First ever poem! Hope I don't suck at this:P I sit here,as dispassionate as ever Beneath yet another charade She flits around, as cheerful as could be Yet I know of the sorrow that haunts her How could someone have eyes so soulful? Eyes that twinkle with every smile Yet pierce me like a knife when I look deeper I wish she wore a mask,like everyone else She beckons me outside into the cool night breeze Asking me to talk While she busies herself In yet another chore I move not an inch. For I am not equal to that task What words can I find To soothe away life's cruel prose? I sit as still as a stone And watch her from afar She plucks a flower in full bloom Walks over to hand it to me Eyes shimmering With all that's left unsaid I know not what to do What to ...