PY:Maelstrom

Why is normalcy the costliest commodity in my life?

It remains unattainably pristine, serenely smiling at me

While I drown in the quagmire that is turbulence

Clutching for anything that can serve as a stronghold

Only to find myself drawn in deeper, staring at despondence in all its dark glory

Normalcy is only five breaths away, 

Close your eyes and breathe deeply

You shall open your eyes to absolute peace

And all your suffering will seem like a bad dream

I delude myself with these nectarine lies

But lies they are and lies they shall remain

Every step is fraught with pain and sorrow

Someday I will probably sigh and stop fighting, let the current carry me away

But that someday is still not here, 
And I breathe like a creature only half alive
Wearied as I am,I still struggle

Not wanting any part of my misfortunes to be attributed to lack of initiative
Anguish follows me like a searing shadow
I use courage as a salve, and wear those scars with pride
Despair I have known,stared at its visage of utter blackness till I doubted the very existence of anything good 
Yet I hope, not for a miracle, or even something good

Just for that thing they call normalcy