My exemplary muse: Eyes of kindness and warm silver*
I was making dinner this evening, and Dosarius( My Dad and I have christened the God of Dosas thus) frowned upon me, mauling the first dosa as his offering. I scraped it from the griddle, and following the path of my scrupulous do-not-waste food mother, put it on my own plate for future consumption. (Before you conclude that I am a bad cook, in my defense, the batter used in my house is some pro-diabetic rice-free thing invented by my Mom. And it can be tricky at times!) Anyway, this incident only added to my feeling of moroseness, and I sighed in abject despair. The anxiety of uncertainty was eating away at me, and I could not find peace anywhere.
He smiles at me as if this is an ordinary thing. And then, how may years did you do this for?
I worked for a year at that place. Eventually the no money thing became unbearable, and I found another place that offered a stipend. I shifted there, and continued studying for both BCom and CA. It took another two grueling years, but I got there. I cleared both exams.
He was a gold medalist in his BCom, I've been told. But to struggle to this extent to get there, I really have no idea what to say. And then, did everything go well? Did you get a nice well-paying job and settle down?
I did get a lot of offers, yes. But it wasn't what you expect. I went through a lot of hardship even after that. But all that is a story for another day. Enough about me. He smiles.
Wait, you also got a Bachelors in law right? How did that happen?
Same story, more or less. I worked a full time job, attended evening college for law and studied all night. Another three years.
But this time you had a good job right? What made you want to study?
I just wanted to. I figured it would come in use some day.
My Dad watched me, offering to help with dinner, which I refused by launching off into the first random question I could think of. How was your life after college? What did you do?
Now my father is a man of very few words when it comes to himself, and most of his life is a closed book to me. So it should come as no surprise to you that I did not know the details of his youth or his career path. I expected a steady life--one job after another, making progress and moving to better prospects. What I heard went like this.
After my bachelors in physics, I landed up at a job I hated. I was treated miserably, the pay was meager, and all I thought was about getting out. But those were the days when jobs were scarce, and I couldn't find another.
And then?
A friend of mine told me that the prospects were better for a chartered accountant. But I had no background in commerce, and the CA exams were infamous for being tough. I quit my job, took the little money I had and enrolled myself in evening college to pursue a Bachelors in commerce. I also took up an articleship for my CA, which was like a day job, except that it paid nothing.
Aghast at this, I asked Paid nothing? How did you survive? What were your hours?
It was a hand to mouth existence, honestly. The hours were brutal, 9 to 6 was my articleship, 7 to 11 was evening college and then I would get home and study till 2 or 3.
So you would eat dinner at what? Midnight?
More often than not, I would go without dinner. When there are five kids and your parents are schoolteachers, food is a luxury.
After my bachelors in physics, I landed up at a job I hated. I was treated miserably, the pay was meager, and all I thought was about getting out. But those were the days when jobs were scarce, and I couldn't find another.
And then?
A friend of mine told me that the prospects were better for a chartered accountant. But I had no background in commerce, and the CA exams were infamous for being tough. I quit my job, took the little money I had and enrolled myself in evening college to pursue a Bachelors in commerce. I also took up an articleship for my CA, which was like a day job, except that it paid nothing.
Aghast at this, I asked Paid nothing? How did you survive? What were your hours?
It was a hand to mouth existence, honestly. The hours were brutal, 9 to 6 was my articleship, 7 to 11 was evening college and then I would get home and study till 2 or 3.
So you would eat dinner at what? Midnight?
More often than not, I would go without dinner. When there are five kids and your parents are schoolteachers, food is a luxury.
He smiles at me as if this is an ordinary thing. And then, how may years did you do this for?
I worked for a year at that place. Eventually the no money thing became unbearable, and I found another place that offered a stipend. I shifted there, and continued studying for both BCom and CA. It took another two grueling years, but I got there. I cleared both exams.
He was a gold medalist in his BCom, I've been told. But to struggle to this extent to get there, I really have no idea what to say. And then, did everything go well? Did you get a nice well-paying job and settle down?
I did get a lot of offers, yes. But it wasn't what you expect. I went through a lot of hardship even after that. But all that is a story for another day. Enough about me. He smiles.
Wait, you also got a Bachelors in law right? How did that happen?
Same story, more or less. I worked a full time job, attended evening college for law and studied all night. Another three years.
But this time you had a good job right? What made you want to study?
I just wanted to. I figured it would come in use some day.
I was really speechless at that point. To struggle to get out of something unpleasant is in itself something that takes a lot of courage, strength and endurance. But to put in so much effort into something just because you want to is something really admirable in my opinion. It is all too easy to get complacent and settle down. But this, this is true passion.
I looked up and met his smiling eyes, and they had a silver warmth about them that only extreme suffering, experience and resilience can lend. I promised myself that night: I am the daughter of this man. I will never get complacent. I will live up to the ideals that he has set out for me.
Title credits
"Eyes of kindness and warm silver": Book Thief, Mark Zusak, how Liesel describes Hans.
I looked up and met his smiling eyes, and they had a silver warmth about them that only extreme suffering, experience and resilience can lend. I promised myself that night: I am the daughter of this man. I will never get complacent. I will live up to the ideals that he has set out for me.
Title credits
"Eyes of kindness and warm silver": Book Thief, Mark Zusak, how Liesel describes Hans.
Comments
Post a Comment