Reflections of a restless eccentric

 As always, I write this post on my birthday, reflecting on all that life has given me. This year has been utterly magical for me, and I watched many of my long cherished dreams come true. But the biggest change, something that I think of as the reason for all these good things, is my perspective shift. I look at life very differently from a few years ago, and that makes all the difference. As Wayne Dyer says, When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. But first, let me tell you about all the wonderful things that happened this year. The biggest of them all: I finished and defended my PhD. This has been a dream for me since high school, and I can't tell you how good it feels to finally see it in reality. But it is more than the research I did, the papers I published, and all of that stuff, even though those are pretty cool too. The process taught me so much about life. The uncertainty, the rejections, the darkness. Parts that we struggle so much with...

 Ever have one of those days where everything seems to go wrong on multiple fronts? I've been having a few of those lately. Actually, if I'm being honest, it's been a few weeks now. And I haven't been too nice to myself through this phase. Many times, I relentlessly point out all the things I should have done better. Needless to say, this doesn't help me feel any better. Sometimes I'd wish, if only I had a compassionate friend who knew all the minutiae of my life and could point out all the things I'm doing right instead, it would feel so much nicer. While I'm blessed with many such people in my life, today, I'm trying something different. I'm trying to be that friend to myself and reduce all the negative inner chatter. So humor me, dear reader, and come along on this highlight reel of my life with me. This is really hard to write for me because I'm so used to criticizing myself ! :) I remember you from three years ago. In fact, I particularl...

December happens to be my birth month, and I take this time to reflect on all that life has brought my way. This year, like so many recent ones, has felt like a total roller-coaster. I have been through the lowest of the lows, and the highest of the highs. This post is my attempt at chronicling my experiences and perspective. The first thing I am grateful for is always my family. I spent an entire summer abroad, away from family for the first time in my life this year, and this made me realize how lucky and blessed I am to have these people around and so close by. My husband is the first person I think of in this inner circle, and his presence in my life has transformed it in so many ways over the past six years. He makes me want to be the best version of myself, and at the end of the day, he is what adds meaning to my life and all its struggles. My parents have always been there for me in their own way, and I owe my strength, independence, and resilience in large part to their very un...

 I met Ginger and Pepper 6 years ago in November on my first visit to my in-laws' place in Mysore. I'd always loved dogs but had never had any of my own, and these two instantly won over my heart. Ginger was in the prime of her life, a brown indie with soulful eyes and an insatiable need for belly rubs. I was initially skittish around her, but gradually I let my guard down. She would excitedly pounce on me the moment I stepped in, and after a couple of minutes of running and jumping, would promptly plonk down at my feet asking for a belly rub. I delighted in petting her, in the deep rumbling noises of contentment she made, and the happy licks she gave me. Pepper was around the same age, a border collie mix with the softest fur and the sweetest temperament, and she greeted me with the same enthusiasm. Spending time with these two dogs was always the highlight of my visit to Mysore, and I always thought of them as part of my family. Although I did not know then, my time with Pepp...

As is custom, I write this post on my birthday to express gratitude for another year in my life and reflect on all that I have learned. 2023 has been a very transformative year for me on so many fronts, and I am truly thankful for all these experiences. First, a shoutout to the most important people in my life. My father celebrated his 74th birthday this year, and I am beyond grateful to have him in my life for one more year. After his stroke, I do not take anything for granted. I know that every single day he lives on this earth is a gift to me. Funnily enough, his illness has melted away all our differences, leaving nothing but love on either side. My mother continues to take on all the challenges life throws at her with admirable grace. This year, my grandfather took a turn for the worse, and is bedridden too. This hit me hard, but I worried much more about her, realizing that both her father and husband were chronically ill at the same time, leaving her as the only healthy and resp...

It is my ritual to write a thanksgiving post every time I turn a year older. Last year, I had ten months of normal life and one really tragic month. I focused on the ten and all the happy moments they had. But this year, I've spent all 12 months under the dark umbrella of grief. There hasn't been a single day in this year where I've been untouched by sorrow, stress or worry. I've forgotten what it is to have a normal life. To have a few days of pure and unadulterated happiness and peace. What do I have to be thankful for then?  A lot, actually. It can be really surprising to learn this, but grief and gratitude can co-exist. In the initial days following my dad's stroke, I experienced a profound sense of gratitude even for the smallest things. I was living on the edge, and felt the uncertainty of life in every breath. That actually made it easy for me to be grateful, even for the all things I'd taken for granted in the past.  I remember ordering a few essentials ...

 Another year of my life rolls by today, and I return to this yearly ritual, a little afraid. Afraid that I will look deep into my soul, and be unable to find anything to be grateful for. What then? I do not know. I will try though. November clouds my vision with tears, but it also makes me look at the rest of the year in awe. I will channel that awe in writing this. I am grateful for all the time I spent this year with my parents. Grateful for all the Mom cooked food I got to eat. Grateful that I lived close enough to visit whenever I felt like it, at whatever time or day. Grateful for all that I achieved, and for all the happiness that brought to my parents. In October, when I shared that I had been awarded a prestigious fellowship, my Dad was overjoyed. He gave me a gift to remember the day by. On 7th November, when I told him that I had won a prize in a singing competition at my apartment, he told me that he wanted to listen to the song I had sung. On 8th, he asked me what was ...

 With the advent of covid, life as we knew it has seen many changes. One of those is working from home for extended periods of time. As a result of this, many of us never really context switch fully between work and home. A part of our mind is stuck on some work related topic even if we're at home. On one such day, around 1pm, both my husband and I stepped away from work to grab a quick lunch. As is our way, we called out to each other asking if the other person could serve the food, and after a minute of back and forth, I reluctantly decided that it was my turn. I headed into the kitchen and looked around absently. I saw some plates, roti and curry, and dished out portions onto both our plates.  Now for the curd. I rummaged around in the fridge, and my eyes fell onto a bowl of curd with grated carrots and onions. Raita (curd with raw vegetables), I thought, puzzled. I don't remember asking the cook to make this today. Maybe my husband did. Or maybe she decided to surprise us....

Note: This post assumes that you are passionate about your work and enjoy what you are doing. If that is not the case, I suggest you first introspect on why you feel that way and what you could do to change it! :) This post is based on my 'working from home' experiences. Since most of the world is trying out working remotely for an extended period now, I hope some of these experiences and the consequent wisdom is of use to my Readers. I am sure countless articles have already been written on the topic, but I hope to add some personal flavor and novelty to it.  The first time I decided to work from home for more than a day, I couldn't be more excited. Yay! No more commute--I get back 3-4 hours of my day. How much more productive I could be! I'd get more work done, find time to exercise, and even catch up on a neglected hobby or two. Also, I could do those dratted household chores in parallel, schedule grocery and other deliveries throughout the day. Snacks...

Dear Reader, I want to take you on a walk down my memory lane today. Indulge me. Walk with me. Let me paint a picture for you with my words:) Back when I was in school, I was the impossibly asocial combination of an introvert, an eccentric, a bookworm and a nerd. As I result, I ended up with less than a handful of friends. As the stereotype for a nerd goes, I used to be meticulous in my homework and disciplined and attentive in class. I also got reasonably good grades throughout, and needless to say, most teachers knew me or had heard of me, although I doubt many understood me. A convent school being what it is, my teachers never gave me more than the occasional understated word of encouragement or praise, on the other hand I never got any criticism. Never. Not once! And then came 9th grade English. We were assigned a teacher who had never taught us before, I wasn't personally acquainted with her, although I'd seen her around. I wasn't very worried, owing to two th...

I have previously written a  drabble  where I speculated that my hippocampus was not properly functioning because I had such a poor sense of direction and navigation. I've also written another post, where amongst other incidents, I talk about how I lost my way from the restroom to my cabin at work:  Misadventures in a Concrete Jungle . Today, I will elaborate on my struggles a bit more, hopefully in an interesting way. Read on! :) Have you ever walked out of a store/restaurant onto the road and had no sense of which way you came or any orientation whatsoever? I have, and sometimes I have walked off in the opposite direction for a few hundred metres before realising it. I have even taken a bus with the right route number, but going in the opposite direction. Have you asked someone for directions and then been insanely lost in the gibberish sequence of lefts and rights that they have belted out? I have every single time, and I no longer ask for directions. Have you had ...

I'd like you to read this post, Dear Reader. In it, the author recounts how one tiny sparrow taught her about hope and faith. My paraphrasing might come off as trite, but the emotion in the writing is definitely not. It moved me deeply, and I suggest you read it as well. Today, I'd like to share an incident from my life that had a similar impact on me. Back in January, there was a week when life seemed very chaotic. I also happened to be staying alone at that point, and it wreaked additional havoc on me, causing me to get into a depressive spiral. I would cry almost everyday, and fret over many things. I was not in a good place personally. On one such evening, I came back from work. There was something I'd ordered online, and the tracking status on the website showed that it had been delivered to me, but it clearly hadn't been. Mildly annoyed, I called customer care. On the other end was a person immune to my distress, who calmly told me that there was nothing the...