EFML: The benevolence of a stranger
I'd like you to read this post, Dear Reader. In it, the author recounts how one tiny sparrow taught her about hope and faith. My paraphrasing might come off as trite, but the emotion in the writing is definitely not. It moved me deeply, and I suggest you read it as well.
Today, I'd like to share an incident from my life that had a similar impact on me. Back in January, there was a week when life seemed very chaotic. I also happened to be staying alone at that point, and it wreaked additional havoc on me, causing me to get into a depressive spiral. I would cry almost everyday, and fret over many things. I was not in a good place personally.
On one such evening, I came back from work. There was something I'd ordered online, and the tracking status on the website showed that it had been delivered to me, but it clearly hadn't been. Mildly annoyed, I called customer care. On the other end was a person immune to my distress, who calmly told me that there was nothing they could do, and that I should reach out after a couple of days if the item still hadn't reached me. Given the state I was in, I was immensely upset by this, although I saw the practicality of it - once a delivery person marked something as delivered, they had no way to trace if it was wrongly delivered to someone else. I realized that I had to make more calls about this over the next week for no fault of mine, and I felt very frustrated. Added to that was the fact that the person at the other end didn't seem to care much-- this was probably run of the mill for them-- but I'd very much have appreciated someone empathetic rather than distantly courteous and formal.
After this was another call: I had been looking forward to speaking to someone all day, and much to my sadness and disappointment, that call turned out perfunctory because that person was busy.
There had also been a comment from a close friend on how distant I'd been from everyone over the past year, and it was eating away at me. I wanted to scream: But you have no idea what I've gone through. You see the little trinkets that I share and assume.
I felt really distressed by all of this put together, and I sat and wept. All alone. The part about crying alone is that you also have to put yourself back. You have to talk yourself through your sorrow, and give yourself the strength that you need to recover from it.
Considering that I had an important work related call in the next 15 minutes, I was forced to do this. Bootstrap myself, as the saying goes.
I detached myself from everything, and got on the call. Midway through it, the doorbell rang. I wasn't expecting anyone. Must be some pesky kids from the neighboring apartment playing a prank. I decided not to get it. After 30 seconds, it rang again. Disgruntled, I put the call on speaker and looked through the peephole. There was an unfamiliar woman standing there. I opened the door hesitantly, still on the call.
She smiled warmly, and held out a parcel, This was wrongly left on my doorstep.
I didn't know the person on the call well enough to ask for a minute, and it was a really crucial call. Perplexed, part of me still functioning on the call, I acted out of reflex.
I pointed to the phone to indicate that I was on a call, and mouthed a thank you. And then, I shut the door.
My call went on for ten more minutes, and then I was done. It went reasonably well, and I was now in a better position. I then turned my attention to the parcel the lady had brought me. It turned out to be the missing one, which had wrongly been delivered to her apartment, as I'd suspected. I cannot explain to you the impact this small gesture had on me. I felt renewed hope-- for my life, for all my travails, for whatever was to come. I believed in the goodness of people once again--if there was one such person willing to help me even without knowing me, then surely the world isn't that bleak a place. I smiled.
And then, I felt remorseful. Here was this person who went out of her way to find me and bring me my parcel when she could have just as easily ignored it, and what did I do? Shut the door on her face with barely a perfunctory thank you.
Would she ever do another stranger a favor?
I doubted it. I had to find and thank her, this person who was my sparrow, who managed to restore my faith in humanity with her tiny act of benevolence.
But I had not the first clue of who she was, or which apartment she'd come from. How would I find her? I despaired. I did some calculations on probable misreadings of my apartment number, and came up with four other apartments. My plan was to visit each of them, hoping to find my secret angel. But the thought of ringing the doorbell at a bunch of apartments and saying something like the following sounded outrageously ridiculous to me, especially given the fact that I had major introvert tendencies. "Hey! Someone just gave this parcel to me. I want to thank her but don't even know her name. Does she live here?"
Thankfully, at the first apartment I picked, she herself opened the door. I apologized for being rude, and thanked her properly this time. She seemed a really nice person, and I walked away with a heart full of gratitude. This single incident will be etched in my memory forever.
I'm a firm believer in the power of small things. Life is not about momentary grand gestures, it is about an accumulation of tiny incidents that take your breath away by happening at the right time.
I'm also heavily inspired by Adam Rifkin, and his 5 minute favor, which Adam Grant talks about in his book.
It is in fact the main reason I wrote this article-- While I wanted to share this incident from my life, I primarily wanted to impress upon my reader the importance and power of giving. Giving doesn't have to be about doing something on a magnificent scale. It can be something that takes as little as five minutes of your time. That little something could change someone's life--the butterfly effect also plays a role here. I myself have experienced several such incidents, and they feel like miracles to me. I know for sure that I'll remember them and be grateful for them as long as I live, and I also know that they probably didn't take much effort for the people who were on the giving side of the equation. What counted was the fact that they were willing to go that extra mile, even if it brought them nothing in return.
Dear Reader, I urge you to be the sparrow in someone's life. It could make all the difference to them. :)
Today, I'd like to share an incident from my life that had a similar impact on me. Back in January, there was a week when life seemed very chaotic. I also happened to be staying alone at that point, and it wreaked additional havoc on me, causing me to get into a depressive spiral. I would cry almost everyday, and fret over many things. I was not in a good place personally.
On one such evening, I came back from work. There was something I'd ordered online, and the tracking status on the website showed that it had been delivered to me, but it clearly hadn't been. Mildly annoyed, I called customer care. On the other end was a person immune to my distress, who calmly told me that there was nothing they could do, and that I should reach out after a couple of days if the item still hadn't reached me. Given the state I was in, I was immensely upset by this, although I saw the practicality of it - once a delivery person marked something as delivered, they had no way to trace if it was wrongly delivered to someone else. I realized that I had to make more calls about this over the next week for no fault of mine, and I felt very frustrated. Added to that was the fact that the person at the other end didn't seem to care much-- this was probably run of the mill for them-- but I'd very much have appreciated someone empathetic rather than distantly courteous and formal.
After this was another call: I had been looking forward to speaking to someone all day, and much to my sadness and disappointment, that call turned out perfunctory because that person was busy.
There had also been a comment from a close friend on how distant I'd been from everyone over the past year, and it was eating away at me. I wanted to scream: But you have no idea what I've gone through. You see the little trinkets that I share and assume.
I felt really distressed by all of this put together, and I sat and wept. All alone. The part about crying alone is that you also have to put yourself back. You have to talk yourself through your sorrow, and give yourself the strength that you need to recover from it.
Considering that I had an important work related call in the next 15 minutes, I was forced to do this. Bootstrap myself, as the saying goes.
I detached myself from everything, and got on the call. Midway through it, the doorbell rang. I wasn't expecting anyone. Must be some pesky kids from the neighboring apartment playing a prank. I decided not to get it. After 30 seconds, it rang again. Disgruntled, I put the call on speaker and looked through the peephole. There was an unfamiliar woman standing there. I opened the door hesitantly, still on the call.
She smiled warmly, and held out a parcel, This was wrongly left on my doorstep.
I didn't know the person on the call well enough to ask for a minute, and it was a really crucial call. Perplexed, part of me still functioning on the call, I acted out of reflex.
I pointed to the phone to indicate that I was on a call, and mouthed a thank you. And then, I shut the door.
My call went on for ten more minutes, and then I was done. It went reasonably well, and I was now in a better position. I then turned my attention to the parcel the lady had brought me. It turned out to be the missing one, which had wrongly been delivered to her apartment, as I'd suspected. I cannot explain to you the impact this small gesture had on me. I felt renewed hope-- for my life, for all my travails, for whatever was to come. I believed in the goodness of people once again--if there was one such person willing to help me even without knowing me, then surely the world isn't that bleak a place. I smiled.
And then, I felt remorseful. Here was this person who went out of her way to find me and bring me my parcel when she could have just as easily ignored it, and what did I do? Shut the door on her face with barely a perfunctory thank you.
Would she ever do another stranger a favor?
I doubted it. I had to find and thank her, this person who was my sparrow, who managed to restore my faith in humanity with her tiny act of benevolence.
But I had not the first clue of who she was, or which apartment she'd come from. How would I find her? I despaired. I did some calculations on probable misreadings of my apartment number, and came up with four other apartments. My plan was to visit each of them, hoping to find my secret angel. But the thought of ringing the doorbell at a bunch of apartments and saying something like the following sounded outrageously ridiculous to me, especially given the fact that I had major introvert tendencies. "Hey! Someone just gave this parcel to me. I want to thank her but don't even know her name. Does she live here?"
Thankfully, at the first apartment I picked, she herself opened the door. I apologized for being rude, and thanked her properly this time. She seemed a really nice person, and I walked away with a heart full of gratitude. This single incident will be etched in my memory forever.
I'm a firm believer in the power of small things. Life is not about momentary grand gestures, it is about an accumulation of tiny incidents that take your breath away by happening at the right time.
I'm also heavily inspired by Adam Rifkin, and his 5 minute favor, which Adam Grant talks about in his book.
It is in fact the main reason I wrote this article-- While I wanted to share this incident from my life, I primarily wanted to impress upon my reader the importance and power of giving. Giving doesn't have to be about doing something on a magnificent scale. It can be something that takes as little as five minutes of your time. That little something could change someone's life--the butterfly effect also plays a role here. I myself have experienced several such incidents, and they feel like miracles to me. I know for sure that I'll remember them and be grateful for them as long as I live, and I also know that they probably didn't take much effort for the people who were on the giving side of the equation. What counted was the fact that they were willing to go that extra mile, even if it brought them nothing in return.
Dear Reader, I urge you to be the sparrow in someone's life. It could make all the difference to them. :)
I am so touched that you tagged my post here. So grateful. Thank you so much. I loved what you have written here too. I have done this so many times too - just been abrupt to people because of other things on my mind, and then remonstrate with myself later. I am glad you could the sparrow in writing this too. Made me feel a little better on why I write what I do. Thank you. I don't know- I am repeating this, but I want to say that. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThe pleasure is mine.Thank you very much for reading, and for your very kind words. I was moved to tears when I read your post. I think it's something that will stick with me for life, both the story and the idea of small things that transform life. :)
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