Resplendent memories: A believer
As you grow through life, you learn to develop an armor. You learn to shield your vulnerabilities, and hide your weaknesses. You fear trusting people. Life's experiences have taught you well: that when you are vulnerable, people exploit that knowledge and use it as ammunition against you. And that hurts doubly, both because you trusted them, and because it is a weak spot.
But there are a few people in your life, who see you when you are weak, and nurture you back to strength. Who see your vulnerabilities, and treat you with respect and kindness as they've always done. It never occurs to them to wound you with your weaknesses, or to break your trust. These are the best kind of people, and today, I cherish and celebrate one such person in my life--my husband.
Empathy: My husband has never been one to sneer at my mistakes. He never laughs at me, or says 'I told you so'. He always empathizes, and tells me that it could have happened to anyone. This is something I am incredibly grateful for, because whenever I screw up, my first reaction is that gnawing guilt in my head that I should have done better, should have known better. By being gentle on me, he helps me do the same.
Inspiration: He has always told me: You are capable of so much more.You have so much potential. And I have seen this sentiment reflected in several of his actions. For me, the fact that somebody believes in me to that extent is extremely inspiring. It makes me want to reach out to all those dreams I have had, and to give them everything I have and then some. It makes me want to be the best version of myself.
Support: There are people who make a million grand promises, and yet never act upon a single one. They are mostly fair weather people, people who disappear the moment you need them. But in life, you need someone who actually shoulders the load with you, especially when things get tough. And he has always been there for me. Whenever I was sick, whenever I was dealing with extra work, whenever something in the house needed to be taken care of. And I appreciate these gestures, because they make my life far more pleasant.
Trust: I have shared with my husband all the dysfunctional things in my life, recounted experiences that were hurtful, sad or horrifying, things I'd never thought I'd talk about to anyone. Baring your soul to someone completely is really scary, but somehow I already had that level of comfort and trust with him. Afterwards, I have sometimes wondered, will he treat me differently because of this? Do I seem more flawed to him now? But he has never been anything but nice, and I have never regretted telling him.
Doing right by me: When we were newly married and I moved in, I was thinking that I should perhaps start cooking, and also wanted to take up most of the chores. Not because I was a woman and I thought the house was my domain, but because I am that kind of person--I am a perfectionist, and I believe in giving everything my best. But my husband stopped me, and said something that was eye-opening to me. He told me: I want you to invest your time and effort in things that you think would be the best use of your abilities, rather than blindly jumping into everything that needs to be done.
Looking back, I think this is something that dramatically altered my life. I have been selective in what I choose to do, and as I result I have been able to achieve wonderful things.
This is a cornerstone in our marriage, one I shall always remember and cherish, because it would have been so easy for him to take me up on my offer and delegate all the household stuff to me. It would have been easy, but it wouldn't have been right. Eventually, I'd have resented it. But he chose to do the right thing in the very beginning, even when I didn't know better, and in doing so, he has earned my trust.
I am exuberantly happy to have found someone who makes my life so very meaningful-- he inspires me and makes every day seem an exciting adventure. Thank you for being my support, strength, courage and conviction. If I have been half as good to you as you have to me, I shall consider myself a good wife. :)
This will be the concluding post of this series for the time being. I might renew it at a later point in time.
But there are a few people in your life, who see you when you are weak, and nurture you back to strength. Who see your vulnerabilities, and treat you with respect and kindness as they've always done. It never occurs to them to wound you with your weaknesses, or to break your trust. These are the best kind of people, and today, I cherish and celebrate one such person in my life--my husband.
Empathy: My husband has never been one to sneer at my mistakes. He never laughs at me, or says 'I told you so'. He always empathizes, and tells me that it could have happened to anyone. This is something I am incredibly grateful for, because whenever I screw up, my first reaction is that gnawing guilt in my head that I should have done better, should have known better. By being gentle on me, he helps me do the same.
Inspiration: He has always told me: You are capable of so much more.You have so much potential. And I have seen this sentiment reflected in several of his actions. For me, the fact that somebody believes in me to that extent is extremely inspiring. It makes me want to reach out to all those dreams I have had, and to give them everything I have and then some. It makes me want to be the best version of myself.
Support: There are people who make a million grand promises, and yet never act upon a single one. They are mostly fair weather people, people who disappear the moment you need them. But in life, you need someone who actually shoulders the load with you, especially when things get tough. And he has always been there for me. Whenever I was sick, whenever I was dealing with extra work, whenever something in the house needed to be taken care of. And I appreciate these gestures, because they make my life far more pleasant.
Trust: I have shared with my husband all the dysfunctional things in my life, recounted experiences that were hurtful, sad or horrifying, things I'd never thought I'd talk about to anyone. Baring your soul to someone completely is really scary, but somehow I already had that level of comfort and trust with him. Afterwards, I have sometimes wondered, will he treat me differently because of this? Do I seem more flawed to him now? But he has never been anything but nice, and I have never regretted telling him.
Doing right by me: When we were newly married and I moved in, I was thinking that I should perhaps start cooking, and also wanted to take up most of the chores. Not because I was a woman and I thought the house was my domain, but because I am that kind of person--I am a perfectionist, and I believe in giving everything my best. But my husband stopped me, and said something that was eye-opening to me. He told me: I want you to invest your time and effort in things that you think would be the best use of your abilities, rather than blindly jumping into everything that needs to be done.
Looking back, I think this is something that dramatically altered my life. I have been selective in what I choose to do, and as I result I have been able to achieve wonderful things.
This is a cornerstone in our marriage, one I shall always remember and cherish, because it would have been so easy for him to take me up on my offer and delegate all the household stuff to me. It would have been easy, but it wouldn't have been right. Eventually, I'd have resented it. But he chose to do the right thing in the very beginning, even when I didn't know better, and in doing so, he has earned my trust.
I am exuberantly happy to have found someone who makes my life so very meaningful-- he inspires me and makes every day seem an exciting adventure. Thank you for being my support, strength, courage and conviction. If I have been half as good to you as you have to me, I shall consider myself a good wife. :)
This will be the concluding post of this series for the time being. I might renew it at a later point in time.
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