Love:P
My friend got around to writing about all of us and our opinions on love coz, well, it's that week which is akin to Christmas for florists,chocolate and teddy bear manufacturers:P By the way,a decade ago I distinctly remember none of this madness existed--it was just a day.Maybe the aforementioned companies were going through their balance sheets at the end of the fiscal year and after noticing the enormous spike on this insane day,some whizkid PR guy must have been like--"Hey,why don't we publicize this for a week? That way we'll make ten times more money.Hmm,let's see.We'll call one of these days chocolate day.And another Teddy Bear day.And we'll come up with cheesy silly names for the rest of the days too.How does that sound?" His manager ponders this skeptically :"But do you think people will buy it?" "Course they will.Anything that gets forwarded to them on whatsapp(or whatever was the equivalent back then:P) ten times sounds true to them.We'll let the exponential power of social media do the job for us".
And lo and behold,here we are! A week of insanity.And people happily indulging in it:P
Before I diverge too much,let me get back to the point.She wrote about love which got me thinking.Maybe I should put in my two cents too.
So here goes nothing!
Let's start off with the basics:Do I believe in Love? That depends on how you define it.If you take it to mean can two people be crazy enough about each other that their entire universe is just each other? Well,yes I do! On the other hand,if you think of it as something everlasting and eternal,then my answer is no.I don't know of anyone who's been in love for a lifetime.That only happens in Fairy Tales.(Actually not even there,coz as I recently found out,the original Grimm's Fairy Tales were really really grim--pun intended:P)
Why do I think it won't last forever? Simple.Eventually,disillusionment happens.
When you fall in love,you see everything through an oxytocin-induced haze.(We're probably biologically programmed that way,so that we can't see reality then:P) You see someone for who you want them to be,not who they really are.At that moment,everything seems perfect.You sit in this happy bubble with endorphins coursing through you,feeling as if you are the luckiest person alive.You do all the things you never thought you would for this person.You break all your rules--the worst part is that it seems worth it at that point:P
Sadly though,after a while,your brain wakes up.And all the masks fall away.That's when you come crashing down to reality.You see flaws where you once saw perfection.Don't get me wrong--I'm not saying you need to find a perfect person.What I'm trying to say is this:In every other relationship,it is the other way round.Take friendship for instance.When you don't know a person very well,you don't really like them.Then,as you gradually get to know them,you start liking them.And here,because your brain is fully functional,you see the flaws and accept them.As a result,the bond you form is perfectly strong and based on truth.
Love,on the other hand,is more of a delusion.You could ask me:what if I saw the person for who they really are? Then,I ask you,Would you still fall in love with them? The answer,as far as I can see,is negative.
So you see what I'm getting at:Without the illusion,there isn't any love.And with love,eventually the illusion wears away.Either way,love is just a myth.
Which would you rather have? A short term high that's based on momentary insanity? Or long term misery because you see all too clearly ? I admit,both of them look dreary:P
The only ones who survive disillusionment are the people who give the stronger foundations of trust,respect and independence to their equation.That way,when the mist fades away,what you see is still palatable.
Love and reason are mutually exclusive.To someone like me,the very thought of losing objectivity is scary as hell--which is why love,in my opinion, ranks right down there with drugs,alcohol and mental illness:P I'd pick the truth over illusion any day!
At the end of the day,all I'm saying is this:You have a good shot at happiness if you stop superimposing your imagination on a person--which I admit is tough,since that's what we're inclined to do.And if you're in that crazy phase of dizzy ecstasy I mentioned,remind yourself that it won't last.You need something more enduring to get through the tough times.Make sure to get that part right.
P.S:Despite all the skepticism here,do I still hope? Yes.That's what my friend talks about here:
https://talesofincrediblycommon.blogspot.in/2017/02/v-day-topics.html
She thinks of me as someone who hopes to find love,which at first I found amusing coz I've never looked at myself that way:P But people close to us look at us more objectively than we ever could,and she's right here.Deep down,below all the layers of pessimism and sarcasm that I put out for the world to see,I still hold out hope.That somehow I'll stumble upon a loophole in this seemingly unsolvable paradox.And that makes me what?A hopeful agnostic? I have no clue:D
And lo and behold,here we are! A week of insanity.And people happily indulging in it:P
Before I diverge too much,let me get back to the point.She wrote about love which got me thinking.Maybe I should put in my two cents too.
So here goes nothing!
Let's start off with the basics:Do I believe in Love? That depends on how you define it.If you take it to mean can two people be crazy enough about each other that their entire universe is just each other? Well,yes I do! On the other hand,if you think of it as something everlasting and eternal,then my answer is no.I don't know of anyone who's been in love for a lifetime.That only happens in Fairy Tales.(Actually not even there,coz as I recently found out,the original Grimm's Fairy Tales were really really grim--pun intended:P)
Why do I think it won't last forever? Simple.Eventually,disillusionment happens.
When you fall in love,you see everything through an oxytocin-induced haze.(We're probably biologically programmed that way,so that we can't see reality then:P) You see someone for who you want them to be,not who they really are.At that moment,everything seems perfect.You sit in this happy bubble with endorphins coursing through you,feeling as if you are the luckiest person alive.You do all the things you never thought you would for this person.You break all your rules--the worst part is that it seems worth it at that point:P
Sadly though,after a while,your brain wakes up.And all the masks fall away.That's when you come crashing down to reality.You see flaws where you once saw perfection.Don't get me wrong--I'm not saying you need to find a perfect person.What I'm trying to say is this:In every other relationship,it is the other way round.Take friendship for instance.When you don't know a person very well,you don't really like them.Then,as you gradually get to know them,you start liking them.And here,because your brain is fully functional,you see the flaws and accept them.As a result,the bond you form is perfectly strong and based on truth.
Love,on the other hand,is more of a delusion.You could ask me:what if I saw the person for who they really are? Then,I ask you,Would you still fall in love with them? The answer,as far as I can see,is negative.
So you see what I'm getting at:Without the illusion,there isn't any love.And with love,eventually the illusion wears away.Either way,love is just a myth.
Which would you rather have? A short term high that's based on momentary insanity? Or long term misery because you see all too clearly ? I admit,both of them look dreary:P
The only ones who survive disillusionment are the people who give the stronger foundations of trust,respect and independence to their equation.That way,when the mist fades away,what you see is still palatable.
Love and reason are mutually exclusive.To someone like me,the very thought of losing objectivity is scary as hell--which is why love,in my opinion, ranks right down there with drugs,alcohol and mental illness:P I'd pick the truth over illusion any day!
At the end of the day,all I'm saying is this:You have a good shot at happiness if you stop superimposing your imagination on a person--which I admit is tough,since that's what we're inclined to do.And if you're in that crazy phase of dizzy ecstasy I mentioned,remind yourself that it won't last.You need something more enduring to get through the tough times.Make sure to get that part right.
P.S:Despite all the skepticism here,do I still hope? Yes.That's what my friend talks about here:
https://talesofincrediblycommon.blogspot.in/2017/02/v-day-topics.html
She thinks of me as someone who hopes to find love,which at first I found amusing coz I've never looked at myself that way:P But people close to us look at us more objectively than we ever could,and she's right here.Deep down,below all the layers of pessimism and sarcasm that I put out for the world to see,I still hold out hope.That somehow I'll stumble upon a loophole in this seemingly unsolvable paradox.And that makes me what?A hopeful agnostic? I have no clue:D
I think it's ok to hope for a loophole. You should show this to the guys you will be seeing in the future :p If they disappear - good riddance, if not - You have hit jackpit baybah!!
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