EFML:Uncertainty
It's another one of those depressing evenings when I find my thoughts wandering homeward.Tears threaten to spill over.(Yeah,I've hardly cried for 21 years and now my lacrymal glands seem to be functioning overtime:P)I long to be home.Everything else seems pointless.Even in the midst of all this,the rational part of my brain won't give up.
I ponder over this.Why do I miss home?Simple.Because I love it.What can I do to overcome that?Find something I love even more here.Exactly.That's precisely why I left home and came here.Coz I thought I'd discover my passion.That I'd find something I love so much that the rest of the world wouldn't matter.
And that is true.Once you find what you're looking for;there's nothing else.It's all you see.All you think about.All you dream about.It becomes your life.Sadly,for me,I still haven't found that.Worse still,I don't even know what I'm looking for.It's not that I hate what I do,it's just that I don't love it--I don't live for it.Somewhere in the midst of all these assignments and tests,I've lost sight of what I came looking for.
I'm wandering around in the dark,waiting for light to serendipitously find me.Aimlessly walking, hoping to stumble upon my passion.
I'm scared that I'll never find it.That all my life will be spent searching for it.Haunted by the uncertainty of what-ifs.
Dear God,I don't know what it is I'm looking for,which leaves me unable to even ask you for it.I'm here for a reason right?I've spent nearly a quarter of a century searching for it in vain.Please shed some light on this.
I want something that defines me.Something that makes me feel like it's worth all of my struggle.Something that changes life.Something that gives me a purpose.
I ponder over this.Why do I miss home?Simple.Because I love it.What can I do to overcome that?Find something I love even more here.Exactly.That's precisely why I left home and came here.Coz I thought I'd discover my passion.That I'd find something I love so much that the rest of the world wouldn't matter.
And that is true.Once you find what you're looking for;there's nothing else.It's all you see.All you think about.All you dream about.It becomes your life.Sadly,for me,I still haven't found that.Worse still,I don't even know what I'm looking for.It's not that I hate what I do,it's just that I don't love it--I don't live for it.Somewhere in the midst of all these assignments and tests,I've lost sight of what I came looking for.
I'm wandering around in the dark,waiting for light to serendipitously find me.Aimlessly walking, hoping to stumble upon my passion.
I'm scared that I'll never find it.That all my life will be spent searching for it.Haunted by the uncertainty of what-ifs.
Dear God,I don't know what it is I'm looking for,which leaves me unable to even ask you for it.I'm here for a reason right?I've spent nearly a quarter of a century searching for it in vain.Please shed some light on this.
I want something that defines me.Something that makes me feel like it's worth all of my struggle.Something that changes life.Something that gives me a purpose.
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