The 100th:All you need is a mirror

I spent quite a lot of time figuring out what my 100th article for this blog should be.I wanted it to be something special,but then,that itself was a tremendous pressure that sapped my creative juices.I decided that the first impulse I have to write would decide the topic.So,here I am.

Inspired by a sleepless afternoon and three hours of TEDx talks:)

Btw,I can't believe it's been 100 articles:) 

We put on so many masks that we sometimes forget who we really are.The mask we put on to make ourselves more agreeable to people.The mask we put on unconsciously expecting people to approve of us.The mask we put on even to see who we are.For a moment,take off all those masks.What do you see when you look at yourself? Do you like that person?

Answering my own question,I don't.Not really.I'm not very comfortable in my own skin,for a plethora of reasons.Let me mention a couple.I look at myself and see how little I know.How ignorant I am.And when I see someone far wiser,which is all too easy in today's world,I feel terrible about my own ignorance.I have this sinking feeling that I will never be as good as them,no matter how much I try.I don't hate the other person for this,but myself for being so pathetic.In psychological jargon,what I described to you is a classic symptom of Inferiority complex.

Let's take another one.Say I achieve something.I never have the feeling of satisfaction that's supposed to come with fulfillment.I can't even acknowledge that my success is because of the hard work I've put in.Instead,I feel vague discontent that I can't account for and mostly a feeling of not deserving what I've achieved.I feel like one day someone will look at me and say,There's no way she deserves all this.She's clearly dumb and doesn't know a thing.And then,the whole world will realize that I'm an impostor.This is again a classic syndrome in psychology,referred to as Impostor Syndrome.

These are some things I face on a daily basis.For instance,I was creating my LinkedIn profile a few days back,and I cringed with every line I wrote.I kid you not.Every single line.It either felt like I was exaggerating or that I didn't deserve it.The 8 hours I spent on my profile were really really close to torturing myself:P

I'll stop with the examples before I scare away my readers.No,don't worry,I'm not mad:D Not yet!

I've spent a very long time not acknowledging these things.I've pretended to myself that it's all okay.But,you know what? Denial has never cured anyone of anything:D If you want to solve something,you need to first accept that there's a problem.

I've figured out that I would love to be comfortable with who I am.If you don't like who you are,no matter how many masks you put on,people can see that.Like I've said before,non-verbal cues are very powerful and play a huge role in how you're perceived.Not that what other people think matters.It's for different reasons I'm saying this.As social beings,people's opinions do matter to us because they either reinforce or contradict the image we have of ourselves(This sounds like a direct contradiction of the previous statement but I meant it this way--people's opinions don't directly matter,they only matter because they reflect on us.We want to be thought of as something.)

Whereas the moment you start accepting who you are,flaws and all,you'll instantly see the change.More people will want to be around you--which I figure is because of the reassurance they get from you.You're so confident with who you are and everyone wants that for themselves.Thereby,they will appreciate you.In return,you will feel good about yourself and be more at peace with who you are.

Once acceptance is attained,you can choose to change things you don't like.Or you can be just how you are.The choice is left to you.I,for instance,have a long list of things about myself I'd like to change.The list is so long that I could talk about those alone for an entire article:P. However,I see myself differently now.Rather than cringing at these so-called flaws and wishing them away because they take away from my imagined version of perfection,I now see them as part of me.In fact,they define me more than any other facets of my personality.

The first step to all this is to take a long,hard look at yourself in the mirror.See yourself very clearly.No lies.No denial.Be brutally honest.After all,you are the audience.No one else.If you pretend to yourself,all the relations you build with the rest of the world will be based on shaky foundations.Therefore,they will eventually crumble.

Be who you are.Be that with pride.Accept your flaws,for they're the most defining parts of you.The most beautiful.They make us human:) Else,we'd all be perfect porcelain dolls.

P.S:This is especially meant for people like me,who don't really like who they are.Everything I've written is from experience.I may be right,I may be wrong.Only time will tell.At this point,from all 23 years of my life on this planet,this seems good advice to give.

This isn't something groundbreaking---it's been told and retold a million times.My article is just old wine in a new bottle.Yet,I'm writing it because I believe that it has the power to influence someone.For a lot of people go through this and live their entire lives without acknowledging these things leave alone telling others.Maybe this time,someone who needs this message will get it:) Even if it reaches that one person who needs it,my 100th article would have served its purpose. 

Maybe I'm too starry-eyed for this world.But as a writer,my dream will always be that.For people to read what I've written and have it resonate with them.Have it change their way of thinking.

Happy 100th article,my blog!:) We're partners in crime.