Vortex

There's something about experiences.They age you.I feel as if I've been existing for centuries.

Have you been through a period after which your life comes back to normal and you feel like you've been dunked underwater for a really really long time? I've been feeling this way since a couple of months,more or less.

I keep holding my breath,hoping that any moment now,I'll see the warm sunshine. I see a tiny sliver of light before the overpowering darkness engulfs me again.

I've lost track of time.Sometimes, I look at the calendar and the date surprises me.Where did all these days go,I wonder. I look back and see a blur of events that stand for my life.

I am weary of the ups and downs. The calm scares me more than the turbulence.It petrifies me because I wonder what humongous wave is going to lash out at me next.

I'm tired of fighting.It's time to let go. I've held on long enough.Hard enough. 

Yet,there's something in me that refuses to accept things passively. I sleep in despair.I wake up with a reassurance that I can handle this new addition to my problems.

Just when I figure out how to solve this and accept it,another one comes my way.What happened to those days when all I used to worry about was whether it would rain on the way home? 

We all have bad days,right? Days when nothing seems to go right. Every single day seems to be that way for me. It's like this stuck-at-zero fault that these vlsi guys keep ranting about.I can't find one day where things go right.

It's not that I'm cribbing about problems.There's way too much happening,all at once and it's driving me insane. I need a little respite.

 Life,are you listening? A little piece of serenity before you start battering me with stones again.I can deal with the stones but I need a little pause once in a while.That's all I ask.Please.