Where I'm from,what I speak

When I was in primary school,I hated the questions,"Which is your mother tongue?Which is your native place?" I never had a good enough answer to either. My teachers told me that my native place was the one to which my parents belonged and that my mother tongue was what my parents spoke.This presented a dilemma.My mom spoke Tamil and my Dad spoke Kannada.My mom was born in Chidambaram,lived for short periods in Madurai,Salem,Erode and thereafter in Coimbatore for a significant period before she settled in Bangalore.My Dad was born in Kolar,spent the majority of his childhood and youth in Mysore before moving to Bangalore.

My Mom says she's from Coimbatore.My Dad says he's from Kolar. Society dictated that I should choose either one of these and call it my native.A more orthodox and patriarchal society would lean towards choosing the paternal one. I refused to do this,having always believed in gender equality. How could I choose either,having almost never been to these places,except as a visitor? How could I say that I belonged to one of these when my soul was bound to neither? Sometimes,I would randomly pick one of the two. :P

With time,I've begun looking at myself as a Bangalorean.I've realised that my soul is more Bangalore than it will ever be Coimbatore or Kolar.It is here that I've spent my childhood.I've watched the city grow with me.I have memories associated with every part of the city.Every time I go through a particular area,I recall something.My life is laid out along these lanes.How can I call myself anything but a Bangalorean?To hell with society.What if my parents don't belong here?I still can.I really do:)

Ditto for language.My parents are both linguistically gifted.They learnt each other's languages in no time--they speak both like a native.My dad can even read Tamil.My Mom speaks fluent Kannada and smatterings of ten other languages.As a result,we spoke both at home.Sometimes,even English.Later on,when my grandfather came to live with us,it shifted more to Tamil because he couldn't understand Kannada.He was a very good sport though.At over 70,he wanted to learn Kannada.I taught him both the script and the spoken word.Hence,I never get whether I'm supposed to say Kannada or Tamil when I'm asked what I speak.

If I honestly mention both,the next questions invariably is: "Did your parents marry out of love?"

This is so predictable that I almost laugh these days when I hear this. My answer has evolved to "No,my grandparents were very broad-minded.They chose intellectual compatibility over linguistic."

I'll tell you something,if you promise to keep it a secret:P I actually relate neither to Tamil nor Kannada.Although I speak both reasonably well,English has always been my first love.Probably because I'm a voracious reader. No,it's actually more than that.It's the language I think in.The language I emote in.The language that's more than just a medium of communication.The language where words cease to be just words and instead transform to be a glorious melody of thought and emotion.That's your first language.Not what your parents speak. 

I've always wanted to answer  English.Sadly,I haven't mustered the courage to be that eccentric.That response would bring forth a barrage of questions and explaining what I just did to a stranger feels too personal.

I still don't like answering this particular question.These days,I just give people what they want to hear.*Language is unfortunately the primary factor of connection for most people.I think I have a good ear for accents.Therefore,if I know that a Kannada speaking person asks me the question,I say Kannada and the opposite for Tamil.Technically,I'm not lying:P It simplifies a lot of things.Honestly,it also results in a lot of hilarious situations.(More about that later.Maybe another article)

I sometimes wish I'd find someone who asks me that question out of no other interest than wanting to really know what my answer is.I'd probably say English to them:)

*This reminds of a short story from I,Robot called Liar.I'm toying with the idea of doing book reviews.Let me know if you'd like me to.