Thanksgiving: Yesterday, today and tomorrow
Written on 9th Dec 2018
I turn 25 tomorrow, and is my custom every year, I make it a point to write about the past year and all that it has taught me, all that I have to be grateful about.
Last year's is here: https://virtualramblings10.blogspot.com/2017/12/thanksgivingchangelog.html
2018 has been a year fully lived. If the past year were to be a sea whose shore I now tread upon to look back, every alternate step would unearth a treasure of a memory. Has it only been a year, I wonder?
And then, I realize, it has been 25 years. One quarter of a century. Have I used these years well? Maybe, my mind answers tentatively. I also despair sometimes: There is so much I wanted to do. I had imagined that all of it would be done by this time. That I would be well on my way in life. But it feels like I'm just starting out, still so clueless, still so lost. If my life were a jigsaw, there are ten pieces in place, while hundreds are scattered haywire, and I still have no idea what the big picture is. I'm just dealing with it one puzzle piece at a time.
All that being said, looking back also brings back good memories. Makes me realize how incredibly lucky I have been. There are things that I take for granted today, but those are only in this reality because my life followed exactly and precisely a particular trajectory. Had it deviated even by a teeny tiny hair, things would be very drastically different. I somehow find that miraculous. As if life had been predestined to take on just this configuration, one out of a gazillion; all those individual infinitesimal probabilities converging and multiplying, to lead to the certainty of this moment.
What would I call life's most important teaching this year?
Equanimity and detachment. When you take things too seriously, life becomes a motley Molotov cocktail of panic, anxiety, sorrow and uncertainty. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is worth that. Knowing when and how to flip that switch off in your mind is absolutely essential to your peace of mind, happiness and well-being.
What would I call the treasures of life?
Things that transcend the banality of everyday life. Something that makes you feel alive. That could be anything. To each his own.
What do I ask of life for next year?
A balance of perspective. I always end up missing the forest for the trees or the trees for the forest. I want a balance of myopia and foresight. To look at something I'm freaking out over and decide "This wouldn't matter in the long run". And at the same time be aware that the bigger picture is the logical culmination of a tiny million actions. These sound contradictory and orthogonal, but I'm positive that they can co-exist. And that their symbiosis would lead to wonderful results.
What will I do differently now?
Courage to traverse the road not taken. Looking back on any agonizing decision from the past, it always seems like the answer was so close at hand. Why did I not see that? Maybe I didn't have the courage to, or maybe I was too encumbered by the the status quo that even imagining something different felt wrong. I promise that the next time I see an opportunity to truly change something, I will not freak out and step back into my comfort zone. I will think it over carefully, and if that step into the unknown seems worth it, then I will cast off all the chains of the present and follow my dreams.
I am grateful for all that I am, for all that I have. I promise to lead a meaningful life, and hopefully next year, I can look back and agree :)
I turn 25 tomorrow, and is my custom every year, I make it a point to write about the past year and all that it has taught me, all that I have to be grateful about.
Last year's is here: https://virtualramblings10.blogspot.com/2017/12/thanksgivingchangelog.html
2018 has been a year fully lived. If the past year were to be a sea whose shore I now tread upon to look back, every alternate step would unearth a treasure of a memory. Has it only been a year, I wonder?
And then, I realize, it has been 25 years. One quarter of a century. Have I used these years well? Maybe, my mind answers tentatively. I also despair sometimes: There is so much I wanted to do. I had imagined that all of it would be done by this time. That I would be well on my way in life. But it feels like I'm just starting out, still so clueless, still so lost. If my life were a jigsaw, there are ten pieces in place, while hundreds are scattered haywire, and I still have no idea what the big picture is. I'm just dealing with it one puzzle piece at a time.
All that being said, looking back also brings back good memories. Makes me realize how incredibly lucky I have been. There are things that I take for granted today, but those are only in this reality because my life followed exactly and precisely a particular trajectory. Had it deviated even by a teeny tiny hair, things would be very drastically different. I somehow find that miraculous. As if life had been predestined to take on just this configuration, one out of a gazillion; all those individual infinitesimal probabilities converging and multiplying, to lead to the certainty of this moment.
What would I call life's most important teaching this year?
Equanimity and detachment. When you take things too seriously, life becomes a motley Molotov cocktail of panic, anxiety, sorrow and uncertainty. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is worth that. Knowing when and how to flip that switch off in your mind is absolutely essential to your peace of mind, happiness and well-being.
What would I call the treasures of life?
Things that transcend the banality of everyday life. Something that makes you feel alive. That could be anything. To each his own.
What do I ask of life for next year?
A balance of perspective. I always end up missing the forest for the trees or the trees for the forest. I want a balance of myopia and foresight. To look at something I'm freaking out over and decide "This wouldn't matter in the long run". And at the same time be aware that the bigger picture is the logical culmination of a tiny million actions. These sound contradictory and orthogonal, but I'm positive that they can co-exist. And that their symbiosis would lead to wonderful results.
What will I do differently now?
Courage to traverse the road not taken. Looking back on any agonizing decision from the past, it always seems like the answer was so close at hand. Why did I not see that? Maybe I didn't have the courage to, or maybe I was too encumbered by the the status quo that even imagining something different felt wrong. I promise that the next time I see an opportunity to truly change something, I will not freak out and step back into my comfort zone. I will think it over carefully, and if that step into the unknown seems worth it, then I will cast off all the chains of the present and follow my dreams.
I am grateful for all that I am, for all that I have. I promise to lead a meaningful life, and hopefully next year, I can look back and agree :)
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