The child is the father of the man

As infants,we are completely dependent on our parents.We hold their hands and take our first baby steps.We cry out to them whenever we are in distress.Gradually,those steps gain confidence.We start doing things on our own.We don't ask for as much support as we used to.Finally,there comes a point when we reach independence.We no longer need our parents to go about our lives.Our wings are sturdy enough to take flight.And so,our parents,who were once indispensable to us, get relegated to the fringes of our life.This is a completely normal cycle that's part of life.

Have you ever contemplated the reverse--that our parents learn immensely from us? I think this poem evoked the idea in me:Child is the father of man,said Wordsworth.Ambiguity is inherent in every poem.The most common interpretation of this line is that habits formed in youth decide who you are and hence,the child is the creator of the adult.To me,it meant something completely different.I thought along the lines of the parent never existing without the child.Before the child was born,there was no parent.The parent is born along with the child.They both evolve together,intensely influencing each other.

If you actually ask your parents,they'll tell you about all the things they did just for you.Sacrifices,changes in lifestyle,things that they normally would never do.If you didn't exist,their lives would be drastically different.

Anyway,I started this intending to write about something else and I've gone off on a tangent which is very typical of me and how I write:P Getting back to the point,what I wanted to talk about was this--being needed.

Initially, I used to be the go-to person for all things tech,phone and internet related at home.Router not working-yell out to me.Recharge phone/dongle/tv-me.Book a cab-me.Google something/make a call/whatsapp someone/change the channel-me.Yes,my family was that ignorant,because I existed:P

I didn't pay much attention to this at the time.These things would take a minute or two and I'd always do them.But,at heart,I was a teacher.I wanted to simplify things and put them across in a way that made them clear as crystal.So,instead of just doing what was asked of me,I endeavored to teach them how to do it in an easier way.My subjects were very unwilling and I had to drag the proverbial horses to the water,but I did it anyway:P

If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.

I put in speed dials so that my grandfather could call without having to actually see the phone.Programmed all his channels as favorites so that he could get them all with one button and without having to know any of the channel numbers.Many such shortcuts.This is nothing at all,I know that,but I was viewed as some kind of geeky God:P

As time passed,my subjects learned what I taught them.In fact,they learned it so well that I was no longer indispensable.Over the last year,the number of panic calls to me have dwindled so much that they now border on zero.

I realised this when my Mom called me a couple of days back about some issue on her phone.For once,I could not guess the problem from what she described of it and actually needed to see her phone.So,I took over control of her phone remotely (teamviewer if you're wondering:P)and started to probe around.Once again,she thought I was doing something extraordinary.Just for the heck of it,I turned on her flashlight from here and she was so amazed by it that she immediately started describing it to my disgruntled father.:D

I'm happy that my family has learnt to be independent.But somewhere,there rankles a slight sadness that they no longer need me.I imagine a day when they can handle all their problems on their own.I don't like the picture very much:( I fondly recall the good old days.In a way,I look at my parents the way they must be looking at me now. Mostly pride with a twinge of resentment.

I would love to get calls at odd hours,asking for help with anything in the world.I sometimes wish that they'd call me even if they know how to solve things:P

The feeling of being needed is one of the most powerful things in the world! It's a natural high. Every human being aspires to be needed especially by those he/she loves.Remember to make your loved ones feel that they're indispensable,even if you can get along fine by yourself.It'll go a long way in making them feel happy.

This specially applies to our parents when they grow old.I know retirement is supposed to bring peace and fulfillment and other things that sound wonderful on paper.In reality,most people feel an overwhelming vacuum that comes because they feel useless.People at work seem to get along fine.So do their grown up kids.Noone really needs them anymore.This one feeling is enough to devastate a person and make them feel that their life is pointless.Spare your parents this.Make them feel good about themselves.Talk about how much they mean to you and how much you've learned from them.You cannot imagine the happiness it will bring them:)

P.S:The title and the article by large are inspired by this poem written by Wordsworth:

My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is the father of the Man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.