Reflections of a restless eccentric

My regular readers will recall that I mentioned in my previous article that I'd be writing about re-framing and story building. Here comes that post! My previous post was intended to be an example of cognitive restructuring-- I narrated the same story with two diametrically opposite points of view, and you could see the humongous difference that made. For anyone who wants to read that, here's the link . I'd been thinking of calling this re-framing, but there's a technical term for it in psychology, and I'm going to use that here: Cognitive restructuring. All jargon aside though, I'm only trying to convey the importance of perspective . When I started out writing on this blog, more than 3 years ago, my very first hello world post was on perspective and how it can magically change things. I am of the same opinion today, but my thoughts have been distilled into a clearer and more articulate version now.  One morning a couple of months ago, I was scrolling ...

A couple of weeks ago, I was conducting a session on communication skills for my mentee, in which one of the exercises was to speak on an impromptu topic. Not wanting the session to get too one-sided in the sense that I pick the topic and she speaks, I asked her to try out the reverse as well. She immediately gave me a topic: 'your role model'. Instinctive responses are sometimes very insightful. They show us what we really think, unfettered by the filters that are normally in place. And that's what happened to me. I ended up speaking on the topic for a whole five minutes, and I heard from her that it was very inspiring. But most of what I'd said was new to me in that I'd never consciously vocalized it before. The feeling was weird. Anyway, I've decided to write about what I spoke, with two different perspectives. This will also be the foundation for my next article on re-framing and building a story. This dates back to my childhood. My parents were both wor...

Finding it extremely difficult to find time to write of late, the plan is to write on my commute till balance in my universe is restored :) It is a restless evening of my vacation. I find myself keyed up at the thought of nothing to do -- it is an anomaly in my world of too many things and too little time. My restlessness builds up even more because I feel disconnected from the world- no Internet, no cellular coverage, even the idiot box is absent here-- although I usually abhor it, I find myself wishing for it. I am cornered to pick up that one book I packed, and I hate that I'm forced to read it rather than choosing to like I always do. I reluctantly pick it up, and it happens to be Adam Grant's "Originals". I start reading and I'm effortlessly drawn in by Grant's magic spell. And that's when the inspiration for this article struck! As my regular readers know, I have many times bemoaned the fact that I'm a chronic procrastinator. It is someth...

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on the said topics. However, my exposure, as limited as it is, has been sufficient to provoke my fury.  I have never been a very social person, and attending weddings was never on my list. That being said, it is that phase of life where every one of my friends seems to be getting married, and that has forced me to turn up to a multitude of such events. Most of the weddings I've attended have been South Indian, hence my chosen examples are from there too- however, I'm sure they are prevalent in other forms in other cultures across the country, and maybe even in some outside. Let's start with this ritual that's called Kashi Yatra. For the uninitiated, let me explain. Right before the wedding begins, the groom decides that he doesn't want to get married and would be better off going on a holy pilgrimage to Kashi and embracing sanyaas . He picks up an umbrella and other apparently necessary paraphernalia to commence this so calle...

My fiery friend C, whose outbursts are poetic, recently wrote this on a social media site: Another Brahmin acquaintance asked me today, ever so casually, if I were a Brahmin. This is the umpteenth time this has happened now. I am beyond immensely appalled at several micro issues this single question encompasses: 1. How 'easy' it is for a Brahmin to ask someone if they belong to the same caste as them. Imagine a person from any other caste asking this question. Go ahead, just imagine... I'll wait. What? You cannot even conjure up the hypothetical situation? 2. Why is it that a Brahmin needs validation? So is it like, if someone outsmarts them in any respect, they would be unbothered and at peace only if the other person also happens to be a Brahmin? Because anything else simply doesn't make any sense? 3. And why is it that anybody who is a Tamilian and a Vegetarian can only be a 'Tam-Brahm'? I am truly surprised at this existential generalization: > A Tam-B...

During a lunch table conversation, a colleague told me that his wife was repeatedly and tremendously annoyed by the fact that the waiter always gave him the bill and not her, even when she was paying for the meal. He mentioned other such instances, where she was infuriated by the ever-so-subtle gestures of the men in this world. Well, she's not alone. This is one of the things that endlessly plagues me, and incidents of the recent past make me want to write this. Incident one:I went to a friend's wedding with my husband. We walked onstage to congratulate the couple, and the groom was the nearest to me, and my friend on his left. Instinctively, I extended my hand to shake his first...The entire sequence that followed is crystal clear in my mind.The bride put forth her hand assuming I was congratulating her, and the groom was taken aback that I was actually offering to shake his hand. It took two seconds for him to actually proffer his hand and for my friend to retract hers, a...

Foreword: I have been wanting to write this for two days now. Even as I landed in the airport after two days of barely any sleep, this article was on my mind. Even as I hit the bed and instantly fell into an exhausted sleep, fragments of sentences swirled around in my sleep addled head, phrases begging to be penned down, paragraphs beseeching me to bring them to life. But I still hadn't figured out how to write this diplomatically, without offending anyone, and to attempt that in a state such as I was would have been folly. Hence I waited, albeit impatiently, till I was in a more cognitive state. But today it strikes me, no matter how delicately I go about this, it might still end up being controversial, because that is the very nature of strong opinions-- there will always be someone who sees otherwise and thinks I'm wrong. Therefore, I will go ahead and make my points, with the disclaimer that I have no intention of offending anyone by writing this, but these are my very str...