Resplendent memories: In sickness and in health
The people we trust in tough times are perhaps the ones who are closest to us. While we are very comfortable sharing our happy moments with a larger audience, the same cannot be said for difficult experiences. Being vulnerable with someone involves a great deal of trust and comfort. I'd always wondered how arranged marriage would be in this aspect. Somehow I'd imagined that we'd be comfortable around each other for the most part, but also that we'd be awkwardly hobbling around the boundaries of what we could share and what we couldn't, at least in the initial years of marriage. However, I was wrong, as I have been about many things regarding marriage—we instinctively trusted each other about almost everything, and that included sickness. This post is about a few pivotal experiences that revealed to me that my husband was not a fair weather person. The incidents that made me realise he would always be around for me, even in my tough times, in fact, especially for those.
2019 was a year with several bumps on the road for me in terms of my health. I took a couple of major hits like typhoid, and several other minor hits, especially during the first half of the year, when I was trying to get used to a new place and new food.
When I was suffering from typhoid, I had intense bouts of fever and weakness, and I couldn't even muster up the energy to get out of bed to eat. My husband fetched me food, tablets and anything else I wanted. He woke up early everyday so that I could get more sleep. He checked on me every few hours while he was at work to make sure I was doing fine. He took charge of several things at home so that I wouldn't be bothered. When my mother asked me if I wanted to come home to recuperate, for the first time in my life, I refused. I told her that I was already at home.
There was another time when I went through this weird ailment of an ectopic heartbeat every few minutes, where I could feel my heart stop and then kick back in after a fraction of a second. It was scary as hell, and I was wondering if I was on the verge of a cardiac incident. I happened to be alone at home that night, and I couldn't decide if I should go in to the ER and get an ECG or wait it out. I finally decided to go to the nearest hospital, but even in the cab I was petrified. What if something happened on the way? What if they asked me to get admitted? I was all alone. I didn't want to tell anyone else and have them freak out on me, and I knew my husband would also worry if I told him, because he was in another city and several hours away. After much deliberation, I finally called him anyway, because I wanted someone to know where I was. He talked me through the entire cab ride without losing his calm or adding to my stress. The way he dealt with the situation and his presence of mind really helped me stay sane, and that was how I lived through one of the scariest experiences of my life.
There have been several nights where I've been feverish or in pain, and he has made sure to stay up with me, no matter how tired he happened to be. He has gone even further, and distracted me from my sickness by engrossing me in conversation about something else. I remember one time where we actually brainstormed for ideas from 2am to 4am.
I sometimes walk for hours without thinking of the consequences. And then I come home and lie in bed groaning with pain. My husband could easily chide me for my foolishness, instead he stays up massaging my legs.
I have this habit of kicking off the blankets after I fall asleep, even when it is cold. But since my marriage, every time I wake up, I find the blanket wrapped around me, warm and toasty.
Today, I am curled up on the backseat of the car with my head on his lap, exhausted, drifting in and out of sleep, and every time the brakes are applied, his arms automatically tighten around me, to prevent me from falling down. I look up at him, and he is fast asleep. My eyes fill up.
To care for someone you love consistently, day after day, is in itself laudable. But to do that every single moment of your life, at every level of your consciousness, through sickness and health, good and bad times, is something incredible and moving. I am touched to be loved and cherished to this extent by the man I married. In sickness and health indeed!
2019 was a year with several bumps on the road for me in terms of my health. I took a couple of major hits like typhoid, and several other minor hits, especially during the first half of the year, when I was trying to get used to a new place and new food.
When I was suffering from typhoid, I had intense bouts of fever and weakness, and I couldn't even muster up the energy to get out of bed to eat. My husband fetched me food, tablets and anything else I wanted. He woke up early everyday so that I could get more sleep. He checked on me every few hours while he was at work to make sure I was doing fine. He took charge of several things at home so that I wouldn't be bothered. When my mother asked me if I wanted to come home to recuperate, for the first time in my life, I refused. I told her that I was already at home.
There was another time when I went through this weird ailment of an ectopic heartbeat every few minutes, where I could feel my heart stop and then kick back in after a fraction of a second. It was scary as hell, and I was wondering if I was on the verge of a cardiac incident. I happened to be alone at home that night, and I couldn't decide if I should go in to the ER and get an ECG or wait it out. I finally decided to go to the nearest hospital, but even in the cab I was petrified. What if something happened on the way? What if they asked me to get admitted? I was all alone. I didn't want to tell anyone else and have them freak out on me, and I knew my husband would also worry if I told him, because he was in another city and several hours away. After much deliberation, I finally called him anyway, because I wanted someone to know where I was. He talked me through the entire cab ride without losing his calm or adding to my stress. The way he dealt with the situation and his presence of mind really helped me stay sane, and that was how I lived through one of the scariest experiences of my life.
There have been several nights where I've been feverish or in pain, and he has made sure to stay up with me, no matter how tired he happened to be. He has gone even further, and distracted me from my sickness by engrossing me in conversation about something else. I remember one time where we actually brainstormed for ideas from 2am to 4am.
I sometimes walk for hours without thinking of the consequences. And then I come home and lie in bed groaning with pain. My husband could easily chide me for my foolishness, instead he stays up massaging my legs.
I have this habit of kicking off the blankets after I fall asleep, even when it is cold. But since my marriage, every time I wake up, I find the blanket wrapped around me, warm and toasty.
Today, I am curled up on the backseat of the car with my head on his lap, exhausted, drifting in and out of sleep, and every time the brakes are applied, his arms automatically tighten around me, to prevent me from falling down. I look up at him, and he is fast asleep. My eyes fill up.
To care for someone you love consistently, day after day, is in itself laudable. But to do that every single moment of your life, at every level of your consciousness, through sickness and health, good and bad times, is something incredible and moving. I am touched to be loved and cherished to this extent by the man I married. In sickness and health indeed!
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