On rising above drudgery

The maid informs that us she would be on leave for 3 days. The cook says his replacement wouldn't be here for two more weeks. We already have a form to fill, photos to get printed, a ton of laundry, groceries to get, half a dozen bags to unpack. And now extra punches that life hands out. It certainly feels like a Monday morning. God knows I don't want to deal with any of this.

On the contrary, I look at my personal life and see a myriad of things I actually want to do: that article I have been wanting to write for six months now, my music assignments that are fast piling up to the ceiling, many interesting avenues at work that I have pushed to "someday-when-I-am-free", so many subjects and topics I want to learn. When was the last time I read a book or learnt a song? What about that short story I keep promising myself to write? These are things that would bring me happiness and fulfillment and serenity, but there aren't enough hours in the day. I find myself overwhelmed by the mundanity of these inevitable chores, frustrated that I have to sacrifice something beautiful for something so banal. The other alternative seems to be foregoing sleep and getting both done-- which also isn't sustainable in the long run. I have lived one quarter of a century by comfortably delegating all but what I deem important to my parents, and I now see how convenient that was and how much more it must have added to their already overburdened plates. Growing up has taken me by surprise, and I sometimes think I'm not equipped enough to deal with all of this. 

The helplessness only adds to my frustration, and it is all too easy to attribute this to someone, and blame them for my plight. But I have promised myself that I will remain on the tracks of objectivity, and that leaves no destination for my frustration but myself. And how does transferring frustration even help? My parents and husband are people I love, and the last thing I want to do is make either sad. What can I do to make this better? Will life ever get peaceful enough that I can thrive instead of merely keeping my head above water, which is what it currently feels like? I definitely do not want to give up my dreams for something so dreary as chores. The questions hollowly echo off the walls of my mind, only to reach me back in troubled time-shifted whispers.

Maybe my perspective is a bit distorted: to most people, life is a combination of work, chores and personal life. But to me, life comprises entirely of the things I love doing or the people I love spending time with, which leaves me hating everything else that gets in the way--chores, commute, groceries, cleaning--the whole gamut that other people probably deem part of life. But this is how I see it, and I don't really want that to change.

How, then, do I bring about balance between what needs to be done and what I want to do? Time being short is an eternal complaint of the whiny, but isn't it something everyone in this world deals with? If there are people out there doing amazing things in the same 24 hours I've been given, then so can I. Am I not writing this in the middle of everything I just said? Isn't that proof enough that it's not time but priority that matters? If I want something badly enough, I have to also figure out how to accommodate it into my life. That might involve deprioritizing a few things that don't matter to me but need to be done, but hey, it's worth it. 

My two cents: Life has to be lived on your own terms. At the end of the day, you should be able to look at yourself and feel that you're doing something worthwhile. That's the big picture. The other errands, those bothersome bugs, you'll deal with it when you have to. You don't always have to have an empty chore list and a checked todo list, and definitely not that if that's the only thing you're going to accomplish. Ignore the insignificant trifles, and do not let them choke you. You are meant for greater things than them. :)

P.S: This entire set of articles I'm doing isn't intended to be preachy--not like I'm a paragon of virtue who knows exactly how to live life and has the last word on it. It's more about what I'm going through and what I'd like to tell myself.  I'm putting it out here with the hope that it'll help someone else deal with a similar situation :)

I'm also penning this down instead of talking it over with someone because I find it better this way. I don't want to be the person who cribs about life. I aspire to be someone who deals with life effortlessly and with a smile. I aspire to be someone who others can emulate, someone who's inspiring to live with. I do not want to be bogged down by my problems, and then transfer their emotional weight onto someone else by whining. I believe that the solutions to most everyday problems will come to you if you let them, and so I choose to write here and find clarity.