Existential meanderings: A liberal conservative or a conservative liberal?

We all have a mental picture of who we are, don't we? And in that mirage of an image, we see many qualities of ourselves. Some of which are true. Some of which are anything but. Here's the thing though: have you ever questioned those beliefs? Have you ever really observed yourself as you would any third person and figured out if you really were all those adjectives you use to describe yourself? 

Since I'm narrating, I'll also volunteer for the role of guinea pig. Amidst the many things I imagine I am, the word "liberal" finds its place somewhere at the top of the list. I've always held on to the doctrine that I wouldn't judge other people, simply because I hadn't walked in their shoes. I would choose to follow a certain path and then do so; believing in my decision with all my conviction and yet without sneering at someone else just because they chose differently. I wanted to be broad-minded--I wanted to be able to listen to ten different ideas and accept them all. Take from them what's best for me. In a word, liberal.

I have two incidents to tell you about.

The first one went like this: My friend sent us a picture from social media. A couple of friends(a guy and a girl) were standing with their arms around each other. Someone who was significantly older, possibly a generation apart, was appalled at their behavior and said something like "this is bad"  on the post. What followed was a ferocious outpouring of outrage on the part of the girl which was definitely verging on rude. Obviously, it got mixed reactions. A few people sided with her and a few people against her. My group of friends, did not, of course, find anything wrong with the picture. However, I remember thinking that she shouldn't have probably vented it out on someone much older. She could have said what she wanted to and been polite about it. My friends agreed with this. I said, referring to the original comment on the picture, "When we grow older, such things won't happen anymore. We're more sensible than this". "Yes, but we'll find new things to be mad about. That's how evolution is." Pat came my friend's reply. 

Saying the moment was epiphanous would be a complete understatement. It hit me like an avalanche. I mean, think about it. At the pace things are changing, it'll only be a matter of a decade before what we think is liberal gets relegated to normal and then, possibly conservative.

Here comes incident two: My friend was looking for a place to stay and was talking about her experiences in the same to me and another guy. She mentioned an apartment that seemed luxurious and affordable-- in a word,perfect-- and then said that she didn't take it. Why not was the first question that popped into both our minds. "Because it was a mixed apartment-- they allowed both guys and girls to stay." Makes sense, I thought. But this guy was offended. "That's stupid. Come on,why wouldn't you stay in such a place?"  I could see the shock on my friend's face. This was an instinctive decision--one that seemed obvious. It was a conscious effort to analyse and justify it. "Because....I guess I wouldn't be comfortable." "Come on, if you're with your parents, would you object if there were guys in the adjacent apartment? You're being ridiculous" he literally storms at her. "No, I wouldn't, because that's totally different"

But he isn't convinced and it looks like he's going to continue questioning her. I intervene, because had I been looking for a place in an unknown locality by myself, I'd have done the same. "Hey,these things are actually subjective. When you're staying alone, you want to feel safe. There's nothing wrong with staying in an apartment where there are guys around. It just depends on how comfortable you are with that. She obviously wasn't, so she didn't agree. There's nothing wrong with that." My explanation seems agreeable to him and he drops the matter.

But long after the incident, I find myself thinking Am I really a liberal? 

Every adjective carries with it an inherent prefix of subjectivity. There's always this huge spectrum of mind boggling gray. My liberal may be someone's conservative and someone's liberal might be my conservative. 

The next time you list out your virtues/vices mentally, make sure you corroborate them with your actions. You never know, you might find that you aren't as *insert appropriate adjective here* as you thought. :D It's part of the heavenly control system--you gather sensor readings, incorporate the error into an appropriate feedback element and realign your output to where you want it to be! :) It's a fun exercise in introspection, I promise you. Give it a try!

What exactly am I,you ask? I never promised to tell you now, did I? :P I can pretend to be enigmatic and all, but the honest answer is, I'm still figuring it out:) 

P.S:I have resolved to write more regularly henceforth. Let's see how that goes! Anyway,here's a new series (yeah I see your eyeroll--I know I have enough already but I just can't resist the allure of a new one:P)