Guest post: The introvert's guide to staying in

A while ago, a bunch of friends and I started a blog on introversion: The introvert's guide to life. That effort took off but eventually dwindled down, but I'm still keen to write more on this topic. I checked with my co-authors, and so are they, hence we are officially reviving this series. However, due to various reasons that pertain to logistics, we do not yet have a common home for these articles. Hence, we are probably going to employ the crude method of posting on one of our existing websites, with possible re-posts on all co-authors' blogs.

And now, I introduce to you the author of this post, Dragon Rider. Apart from being my friend and co-conspirator, she is also an amazing writer with a very unique voice. Queen of satire that she is, all things in the realm of sarcasm and dark humour fall under her purview. She's also a lover of the feline species, and a self-proclaimed introvert.(questionable if you ask me:P) If you'd like to read more of her work or get to know her better, check out her blog: https://talesofincrediblycommon.blogspot.com/

Disclaimer: All credits and rights for the content in this post, including the title, rest with the original author, Dragon Rider.

I know P, C, D all think I am some kind of an extrovert. Well, I am NOT!

And I volunteered to write this how-to guide - A guide to Staying at Home! Forever!!

Let's begin with one's house!

Your kind, loving parents and siblings who only have your best interests at heart would gently suggest you leave the house for a little while and soak up the sun. Do not fall for this ruse.

• Your first step is to actively avoid all contact with the said members of the family.
• One way to do this is to hide under the covers. You hide there and wait out the phase where every one yells for you.
• Slowly, people will get busy with their chores and forget you exist (which is the perfect mode of existing).
• In case they do find you hiding under the copious amounts of covers, you may try leaving your current place of residence and seeking solace at some other, more sympathetic soul's abode.
• If that doesn't work, you can pretend to walk around for a bit and settle back down, and no one would be any wiser.

While you manage to dodge the family itself, your friends might call you to spend the day with them.

• You can always tell them you don't feel like it but the more enthusiastic ones will encourage and motivate you to reach new limits by leaving your house!
• In such scenarios, one can always depend on the trustworthy excuses like
• Hey! I would LOVE to come but I have this thing that came up... God how I wish I was dead or something, I SO want to come!
• My relatives are coming home. (I know some of you may think - hey! she just used this recently - I SWEAR this was a real relatives at home thing.
• My mother has given me chores, and I would like to do those.
• There's nothing interesting - what are we going to do? Watch a movie?? Like seriously, you need to come up with something better.
• You can fake colds and headaches. They are very easy to come by and quite believable!
• These days there are helpful viruses that make your job easier, while also providing the option of death!

You can also encourage your friends to spend the day at home by suggesting great shows to watch/ books to read. The allure of spending your time doing absolutely nothing is very intoxicating to some, and you might succeed with your mission!
I also once made up the excuse that I wasn't getting any modes of transportation. That worked well for exactly one time. So please use this one only in times of great need.

What does one do while staying in? For the introvert the choices are endless.
You can aimlessly surf the internet or watch a show on Netflix. You can settle down into your covers with a nice book or fairy tale. The point of staying in is not productivity... It is unwinding as unhurriedly as a cat stretching itself before going to take a nap...

You can nap, provided your parents/spouse do not take offense. People are like that, they are offended even when a world weary introvert tries to lose themselves in the land of dreams.

A spray bottle of tap water helps in such scenarios to reinforce the Pavlovian response of not disturbing you during your well deserved nap.

You could send those pure and good souls out into the world, since they seem so concerned that you ought to be there.

Anyway, I have more unproductive stuff to pursue.
Until next time,
DragonRider